Dear Body, Forgive Me!
I'm sorry that I always put so much pressure on you. That I always pushed you to keep going and didn't allow myself time to REALLY take care of you. I did it because I was afraid. Afraid that we weren't good enough. Afraid that we wouldn't get anywhere. Afraid that we would be discovered and, at the same time, afraid that we wouldn't be seen when it came to the mission we have.
Out of fear, I asked far too much of you. Like you, I was deeply shocked by the warning we received about your condition. Although I chose to live more and more within our own unique set of boundaries, the damage caused by all those long years from before you were born has been far too great.
I regret putting so much pressure on you. I regret not seeing and understanding certain opportunities to break the cycle sooner. Ultimately, not seeing that has brought us many other things that have proven invaluable, but still...
Dear body. I'M SORRY. I should have taken better care of you. I hope you can forgive me for being so overwhelmed by everything and for being literally blinded by how deeply hidden so much of it was.
But dear body, know that you and I are going to grow very old together, and I want to do that in the best possible way. Let's work together to figure out how we can get you on board and what you need to function as optimally as possible. Whatever that optimal may be.
I want to start respecting you. Not just for your sake, but for mine too. We are one, and I will no longer fight you, but walk the path of recovery together. Let me experience what you need, and I will do my best to act accordingly. I promise you that.
I, Marleen te Vaanholt, wrote the above text to my own body in October 2017. However, when I shared that message again a year later, I received so many responses from people who could relate to it that I am now sharing it with you as a blog post.
Perhaps you have also demanded too much of your body, or you know someone who has. If so, please share this message.
I noticed that apologizing to my body was the start of a process that led me to further recovery and real teamwork between me and my body. Even though I initially thought that this was not the case. At first, everything got worse before it could get better. But now... wow, what more can we achieve together!
So what's stopping you? Give yourself and your body a chance and forgive yourself so that you too can heal within your limits and capabilities!
Good luck,
Marleen te Vaanholt
